My Site

Detailing things that happened, to look back on fondly.

Goals for January:

Personal:

1. Workout 5 days a week
2. Celery juice daily, twice a day sometimes
3. Plan the day before

   Business

4. Taxes
5. Launch for Valentines
6. Train Faroo
7. Start migrating to Desktopshipper
8. Clean up outstanding orders

Week 2: Jan 10~16

1. Train Faroo – my Thursday?
2. Design new product shot look and feel
3. Design new Etsy listing images
4. Valentine’s Day ring product shots – which rings?
   1. Existing lovey rings with gold fill
   2. Zen Yoga rings with gold fill
5. Add gold fill option to listings
6. Prompt DS about migration once again
7. Prompt Chitchats too
8. Go over gold fill with Anna
9. Send V Day Email

Week 3: Jan 17~24

1. Taxes
2. Confirm outstanding KT orders are cleared
3. Send more V Day Emails
4. Import more Etsy emails
5. IG highlights
6. Improve KT engraved ring section for better search results and higher conversion rate

Week 4: Jan 25~Feb 1

1. More V Day Emails
2. Move to new office?

 

---

My theme for the month is Discipline!

Discipline sets you free.

Let’s set some new habits and adhere to them!

1. Plan the night before – scheduled!
2. Plan the week before – scheduled!
3. Plan the month before – scheduled!
4. Plan the quarter before – scheduled!
5. Write down things learned and accomplished each month – scheduled and created a bookmark!
6. Reflect each month on how to improve – scheduled!

---

• Create a template for the above and bookmark it.
• Evaluate different areas of life
• A structure to write my plan into
• Digital life planner basically!

Weekly Review:

1. Good Things that Happened the Past Week:
2. Lessons from the Past Week and Improvements to be Made:
3. Personal Goals for this Week:
4. Business Goals for this Week:

Monthly Review:

1. Areas in Life doing great the past month?
2. Areas in Life to improve upon?
3. New experiences and happy moments the past month?
4. Proud, meaningful, fulfilling moments?
5. Personal Goals for this Month:
6. Business Goals for this Month:

Quarterly Review:

1. Have I accomplished my goals from last Quarter?
2. What did I do well in?
3. What can I improve upon?
4. Personal Goals for this Quarter:
5. Business Goals for this Quarter:

Yearly Review:

1. Review the past year. Has it been a good year overall?
2. Did my life improve?
3. How much did my business grow?
4. How have I grown as a person?
5. Proudest moments?
6. Happiest moments?
7. What skill did I acquire?
8. Personal Goals for this Year:
9. Business Goals for this Year:

By the end of 2022, I want to feel these things:

1. Great stamina
2. Happy
3. Have been loving and loved
4. Laughed a lot
5. Focused
6. Fulfilled – making progress on a passion
7. Clear-headed, clear vision about my next steps
8. Feeling great in a toned body that is also great to look at
9. Having been very disciplined – mental zen garden is well groomed; exercises adhered to throughout the year; goals set and met; play hard work hard; major tasks prioritized, time-blocked, and undistracted.
10. Proud of myself – how I make others feel, my business growth, how I have improved as a person, how I impact the world
11. Enthusiastic and excited about the future
12. Have more friends and deeper friendships
13. Have become a better dancer
14. Have become a better singer
15. Abundant in health, wealth, love, and fulfillment!!!
16. Better mood management, whether it’s anger, boredom
17. Better time management
18. Better energy and focus management
19. Read more

---

How I want John to be:

1. Happier
2. Healthier
3. Wealthier
4. More friends
5. Will be fine without us being in a relationship

---

Action items:

1. 5 workouts a week
2. Continue with celery juicing
3. Wake up at 5/6am, go to bed at 11pm/midnight, learn to get enough sleep in 5, 6 hours.
4. No dinner after 8/9pm
5. Meditate and manifest daily, cultivate my sense of gratitude also.
6. Improve my business confidence daily
7. Plan the day before, no matter what.
8. Plan the month before, no matter what
9. Plan the quarter before, no matter what
10. Track progress of things I do
11. Observe mood and do more things that make me happy!
12. Observe mood and don’t let low or bad mood linger. Experiment with different ways to lift myself out of any low mood cycle.
13. Socialize more. Plan 3 to 5 social gatherings this year
14. Reach out to existing friends online to chat. 10 this year.
15. Be loving to Alex and John both, align my position in their lives with their purpose. For Alex, it’s to shed light on how to simplify life while growing. His mental garden can use more zen perhaps. For John, it’s to help him get financial freedom and give him more positive mindset.
16. Create a reading list
17. Plan 1 great trip or something for mom
18. Plan 1 great trip for myself – floriding?
19. Monthly update on my life, so I can look back on the year!

---

Business:

I want to scale 10x, but I put a glass ceiling up and think I’ll grow by 30%. How can I remove this glass ceiling?

First, I’ve acknowledged this glass ceiling. That’s a great start.

1. I’ll actively encourage myself to boost my business confidence, daily!
2. I’ll remind myself of my 10x goal and what I have going for me, daily!
3. I’ll meditate and manifest achieving my 10x goal, daily!
4. I’ll remind myself of my why, daily!
5. What is my why?
   1. Growing it 10x will come with many many great things! More abundance to give to Mom! More for Dad! More for friends and employees! Happier manufacturer! Gain more high caliber, smart and competent friends! Go far and see more and experience more! More positive rare amazing experiences and fun adventures – that’s my ultimate meaning of life! Freedom to live, laugh, love! Sense of achievement. Having the ability to impact the world on a bigger scale! YESSS!!! THIS IS MY WHY! It all makes sense now.

Didn’t write about this before, but it’s worth writing about.

I had a ferry reserved for Dec 28th, Victoria to Vancouver.

Mom was worried about the snow but I wasn’t.

I drove slowly. The roads were covered in snow, but I thought once I got on the highway I’d be fine.

Nope! The hwy was worse! It was covered in a thin sheet of slippery snow!

I couldn’t keep up the 90 speed limit, nor the 60….I drove at 40km/h for the most part.

At one point, I spun out! I was perpendicular to the oncoming traffic!

Thankfully the oncoming traffic all stopped, and waited patiently for me to recover. I saw about 8 pairs of headlights! No one honked.

I tried 5 or 6 times to turn, and it finally worked.

I drove even more carefully after that.

The 45 minute drive was now doubled the time.

I was tense on the wheel the entire drive, and super careful. I tried to not accelerate too quickly, I kept steady as much as possible, and I tried not to stop at all.

Nonetheless, I spun out again about an hour later.

This time, a cab was near me. He drove past me. Someone behind me honked.

I tried to recover, but this time, I hit the back of Max with the side of the highway.

Ouch!

I thought, I’ll check the damage when I get on the ferry.

I got to the ferry, on time!

But the wait at the ticketing was long.

Eventually, we all got on the ferry.

I got out of Max and checked on him.

The ENTIRE bumper was gone!

WTF.

It was surprising, saddening, but a little amusing at the same time.

I called Bunny and asked about the road condition in Vancouver. Typical of him, he said I’ll be fine, just drive carefully. He did check the hwy cams though, and said it was fine.

I was thinking perhaps I should uber home. But then, it’s almost impossible to do it. Once off the ferry, it’s just endless highways.

I was pretty worried on the ferry. I tried to distract myself by reading a book about relationship secrets haha. It was called “Endless Honeymoons”. I tried to learn more about both John and Alex.

Waiting to drive off the ferry, I pulled out the Goddess of Compassion protection badge that Mom had just given me that day, and put it on the dashboard.

When I drove off the ferry, I did it super slowly. During this journey, I was so stressed I almost cried. But the road condition in Vancouver was excellent! No new snowfall, no snow/ice on the hwy. Thank God!

I made it home safely.

Thank you, Goddess of Compassion!

 

 

 

Went to Bunny’s with lots of groceries. Ordered Yanaki sushi. Watched wheel of fortune and jeopardy. Oh and watched a show about how the super rich spend their money. This one house in Switzerland was amazing. Private ski lift, 7 stories underground, mink wall.

After the food arrived, watched “Don’t Look Up”, then watched “The Book of Boba Fett”. Did some cuddling and actually had sex! First time in 8 months! And then did the NYE countdown with New York while drinking apple pear bubbly from Costco.

That was it! A chill night.

Some facts:

1. It was good, I guess, that we finally had sex after 8 months. But it was so bad. It was a little bit worse than before because of his knee, but it was that much worse now that I have Alex to compare him too. I miss Alex so much. The sex we had was so brief..less than 5 minutes. The kisses were rushed. The entry was….I didn’t feel anything.. And he didn’t even look at me…he leaned forward and pounded me in a way that didn’t feel very good. He finished after a minute or two with lots of grunting like it was the most gruelling exercise (that’s not new). I felt so….disappointed. But I tried not to show it too much.
2. After sex he immediately talked about other things. Like the expensive house in Switzerland. I’m not surprised because I know exactly what makes him tick now: imagining riches. I asked him how much money he’d need to start enjoying his money. He says about $1MM. He wants a house in possibly Miami and a house in Squamish. I’m not in the picture. That’s fine. I know for sure now that I’m not in his future. He is not in mine.
3. The movie Don’t Look Up was fun! I think and hope it’s a satire on covid. That’s one thing I did appreciate of Bunny tonight: we were able to enjoy this satire together.
4. He annoyed me with a few things, but did a few things correct too.. overall pretty pleasant night.

So, it was a cozy night. Not as fun as with Alex though. Nothing is.

But Alex still hasn’t said anything to me. It’s been 2 weeks now. I’m so sad about this.

I think about what to say to him if he said this, if he said that. But I reel myself in. I shouldn’t think too much about what to say until I do hear from him.

You feel like of course you will! You had such an amazing time together! But nothing is as smooth as hoped.

Manifest my real boyfriend / husband after John. That’s the most important.

High energy moments:

For J:

1. skating
2. his fave game shows (because it’s relaxing and people are having fun)
3. venting with his friends
4. playing with his nephews
5. eating good food
6. driving, driving a nice car
7. dressed up nice
8. Researching the market and companies
9. House shopping

• taste of richness and freedom
• family
• seeing people happy

For A:

1. Out with his friends
2. Working on his biz; being competitive and ambitious and anticipating a win
3. Rare adventure
4. Seeing a grey parrot
5. Learning something; growing
6. Simple carefree life
7. raising his kids
8. Japan
9. Soup
10. Anime
11. On top of trends

• an escape from stress; simplicity
• friends; making connections
• growing himself
• growing something else (biz or kids)
• in a happening zone (Japan, trends, latest tech)
• experience and adventures
• family, nostalgia, good old days
• entertaining / pleasing others and being playful (being a mascot, playing pranks)

What talents do I have for bringing out the best in people?

• my optimism, my laughs, my energy, my wisdom/stories, being a good listener who gives undivided attention and shows curiosity, my compassion and kindness, my sense of humour
• J: being gentle, good natured, graceful, kind
• A: being a good listener, being funny, liking people and wanting to connect people, being generous with biz info in general, optimistic

What good do I see in my partner’s life that I can affirm, appreciate, respect, or praise out loud?

• J: diligent when it comes to his knee rehab, athletic spirit / strive to be the best
• Put cute notes for him

Ideas, plus good risk, plus persistence. Combine these three things together and you have a powerful combination that will not only surprise your romantic partner but also you.

For J:

It’s a nice sentiment, but when your date encounters you in this panicked state, what impression do you think he’ll walk away with? You don’t seem very sure of yourself, do you? Most likely, he’ll either be uncomfortable or feel sorry for you – possibly both. Now imagine using state management instead. You’re still scared about going on this first date, but you know you have the power to shift your mind into a more empowered state. Instead of simply saying the words and hoping they are true, you think of a time when you actually felt your best. You vividly recall the internal sensations of a day when you felt happy and super confident.
Now you let that memory guide your physiology as you adopt an outward appearance that reflects the memory of that state of pure confidence. You’ve got a great big smile on your face, and you’re rocking a sexy new dress. “He’s going to like you.” You see, the trick is, imagination always wins. Use your imagination to vividly recall a certain mental and physical state and you are automatically influenced by that memory. It works better than trying to go directly for the desired end-goal by using affirmations alone. So affirmations are where you’re saying something in an attempt to convince yourself it is true. State management is where you embody that truth.

I woke up feeling like I had a nightmare. Maybe it was the bread I had before bed.

I suddenly felt sadden by the fact that one day my parents wouldn’t be healthy anymore.

Mom is 71 and dad is 77.

I’m lucky that they are both in decent health at the moment.

I decided that I need to be more proactive about making my time spent with Mom better.

I asked if she can teach me line dance. She was so thrilled!

She taught me Cabollero. It was hard! She said I did pretty good .

Then she taught me an easier waltz like dance.

It was still pretty hard!

But being a bit hard is good.

Mom said she has 200 dances in her head, and about 1000 dances that she just needs one or two walk throughs to remember. Wow. I’m so impressed and proud of her!

Makes me respect her more too.

Otherwise I got a bit bored and impatient with her stories, which are more boring now than say two years ago. Not sure if it’s the pandemic making good stories more rare, or aging of the brain.

Then we watched Men in Black. It was good times!

I still haven’t heard from Alex, and I still think about him. I replace the thought with an image of a bunny each time.

 

 

Yesterday Mom and I watched the Holiday. It was pretty cute, with a happy ending.

Today we watched The Talented Mr. Ripley. It was dark….

Alex didn’t message me today, on Xmas day. I was so disappointed, while trying so hard not to be.

This line from the movie completely resonated with me:

I want to experience great love. I want to meet someone so great that we fall madly in love, have a blast, and get married. He surprises me with a romantic grand proposal, we have a romantic and fun wedding, and live happily ever after!

Ahhhhh I want that.

Where will I find this kind of man and this kind of love?

I think the US. Canadians are too reserved for grand gestures. British and Australians too.

A successful entrepreneur could be a good one. We can relate to each other more. And likely help each other more.

I think I can offer everything I ask for, except for 2 which I’m working on. Stable mood and Great temperament.

Here’s what I want in my husband:

1. We love each other. We want each other very much and equally much! We make each other happy. We make each other laugh! We bring out the best in each other. We enhance each other’s lives. We are great by ourselves, but we are a force when we are together!
2. Want me as much as I want him – physically and emotionally
3. Loves me for me. He believes that I’m the only one for him and I believe he is the only one for me.
4. Will go the extra mile to do something for me – to make me happy, to take care of me, to make me feel desired
5. Loves how I look without a wig as well, and shows it
6. We are each other’s best friend
7. Laughs at my jokes and makes jokes that I laugh about
8. Is a thoughtful partner
9. Reliable
10. Sincere
11. Not selfish
12. Generous
13. Loyal
14. Does not flirt with others
15. Playful
16. Has my best interest at heart
17. Stable mood
18. Great temperament
19. Will keep himself in good shape
20. Resilient
21. Doesn’t need/want kids
22. Funny
23. Smart
24. Outgoing
25. Great conversationalist
26. Social
27. Good outlook on life and when facing challenges
28. Resourceful
29. Up for trying new things
30. Amazing sexual compatibility with me – physical, emotional, and chemical match!
31. Want to make love as often as I do.
32. Passionate in bed
33. He loves me in a way that I love to be loved and I love him the way he loves to be loved
34. Compliments me often
35. Encourages me
36. Inspires me
37. Loves touching me
38. Loves spending quality time with me and makes time for it
39. Competent
40. High EQ
41. Is my playmate who enjoys doing fun things with me together
42. Good at biz
43. We level each other up in biz
44. Wholesome
45. Kind hearted
46. Compassionate
47. Attentive to my needs
48. Emotionally available
49. Elevate my best, soothes my worst, and I do the same for him.
50. We like each other’s friends too!

 

I wish he’d be in touch more…but, that’s ok.

I’m falling in love with him, but I don’t think he is. I think he falls in love slowly, and he is more focused on his biz in general.

For me, I’m all about love.

For him, he is more about biz and having kids probably! He is the type that will be more into his kids than his wife when he has kids. I would not want that.

---

It’s now Xmas, and I still haven’t heard from him 🙁

Feeling sad about it. He is not as good as I had imaged after all.

I’m setting myself up to not expect him for next weekend either. Weather is a possible reason. Oh well. I need to focus on finding my true love…not waste my emotions on him.

I can enjoy him in the mean time, but don’t get bogged down. Same goes with John.