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Last night I had a real hard time falling asleep. Not sure if it’s because of my bedtime snack of banana and avocado, or just the 14 orgasms.

Ironically I had to give myself a 15th one in order to fall asleep. It barely helped.

Woke up horny but happy. I don’t feel the need to chat with him today even though I think about him. I know he is busy today anyway.

I need friends that I see regularly. I think I need to hang out with Tyler more often. I message him today.

I’m inspired now also to have a bigger vision. I’m going on this China trip. I need to do some big, positive visualization. I want to succeed. I want to do more than $5MM USD.  I want to do $150MM. I want to aim high and hit my goal or at least still succeed at reaching $5mm USD. I want to be like Matthew I guess.

I noticed that we hold hands a lot. Partly because I like doing it. I like doing it because he is a gemini and it’s supposed to turn him on. Never seemed to do anything for Patrick though!

But holding hands felt good. Felt intimate. During sex he’d hold my hand. (Though, Patrick and I did that too.) After sex, we’d lie side-by-side or spoon, and hold hands. I’d kiss his hand.

He kissed my head a lot last night. Not sure if it’s because he liked my baby powder scented hair or just the way he shows affection.

We are gentle towards each other. I asked if he was comfortable on the floor. I asked if his forehead was hurting (he bumped his head climbing lol) and kissed it. (We joked about the bump growing into a horn, and that I’d ride it if it did. Haha. He thought it was funny that was the first thing I thought of.) He seemed concerned about my arm bruise, noting it a couple times, and asking if it hurt. (I told him it’s from volleyball…when in fact it was from Jackson…I try not to lie, but this one I just had to. The bruise looked so nasty too.)

I like that we are far more gentle to each other than we used to be. I used to undermine him actually. And he ghosted me. Now, so far, we are nice to each other. Him driving 15~20 minutes to see me…when he used to demand the person to live downtown, before being qualified to contact him on POF. This is a change.

I really want to keep this alive. I have a feeling I know what it is. It’s how turned on I am. If I’m turned on, he’ll be turned on. If I’m jaded, he’ll be jaded. Of course, he might be jaded first, but, I’m quite sure that if I keep up with the high spirit, the thrill of being with me, complimenting him on many things, and appreciating him…I think it can last longer.

And of course, respect. If we respect each other, this can be a good thing.

I do think about when he said that he has people cook for him. I think he meant his gf. I guess they probably meet up often then, if she is cooking for him. It’s like with Patrick, who lived with his gf. On one hand they seem to have lots of respect for you, on the other hand, you know they are completely disrespecting their gfs by cheating. So never even think for a second that they respect you behind your back. I think, Gemini’s are good at showing as much respect as needed (only in front of you / when you are present, and depending on how much they can get away with). Idriss was a Gemini too though, and not good at respecting me in front of me.

—

In the early evening, Matthew messaged me. I guess when you don’t expect anything, it’s always a pleasant surprise.

He asked if I’ve recovered from my O-marathon, lol. I said not really, and that I thought about him lots today. I have a tendency to say it that way. To imply that there’s more heart in this. No point in objectifying this sexlationship further.

He has more to fend, since he has a gf. He said he was also daydreaming lots about the naughty things. He didn’t say that he was daydreaming about me, even though he was.

I clarified what I was thinking about though. I kept thinking about him saying, “Don’t look at me when I cum!” and making that gnarly face. It was funny.

He said, Damnit. And that next time he’ll wear a paper bag.

He is all sorts of cute.

With Patrick it was twice a month for about 6 months, before he bailed. I wonder how long Matthew and I will last. It’s been 1 month. And I’ll be away next month. It was so good last night, we should be able to pick it up in May.

I’m at home, sort of working sort of not, on my day off. Sigh. I wish I had more life!

 

Matthew came over tonight (Friday, March 25), and it was awesome again.

I had forgotten what he looked like, but I think I’ll remember now. Funny how it’s so hard to remember his face. He looks nothing like his photos.

A few things I learned about him that are very interesting.

• He eats out with friends every weekend
• He used to be the guy who can cook for girls. Now he doesn’t. He is doing well financially, so he just pays for restaurant meals.
• His motivation for getting better at bouldering is just to be one of the bests when he goes to the bouldering gym. And he is addicted. He dreams about the puzzles.
• Sometimes work gets busy but he says he can never justify not spending a couple hours every other day going bouldering.
• His smoothie has 15 ingredients. Flax seed, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, hemp oil, kale, spinach, chard, organic ginger, mango, pineapple, 2 raw eggs, 2 bananas, and carrots. He’d make 2L and drink it for 2 days.

I’m writing these things down because I want to improve. I know he can keep up with his hobbies and I wanted to know how. I had these questions about motivation ready even before he came over.

I’m curious about how well adapted he is in life. (And it’s attractive when someone has figured life out.) I want to be like that.

Heck, if I can have a boyfriend and a fuck buddy, that’s so ideal. I just can’t treat someone like that though. He has everything.

So, I was so thrilled about him coming over tonight. I was hoping but not entirely letting myself believe that it’s happening until he was in his car and driving here.

He went bouldering and ran late. That was ok. I was dealing with my super tangled black/grey ombre hair. Actually, I even had to spot clean my onesie. The thing is, there was Jackson’s cum on my onesie and in my hair. Kinda hilarious. (Never heard from Jackson again….if I could keep two fuck buddies going I’d feel like I’m winning…but that’s ok. He was a rough player, not fit to be a fuck buddy.)

Matthew was so much more gentle on me. Omg….it was almost sensual. It turned me on so much. I wasn’t wet, then I was.

We started making out on the couch. He kissed me slowly…nibbled on my ear. Drove me crazy. I came within 10 minutes. That’s how it’s done. He is almost on par with Patrick!

He was really taking it slow, building it up. I loved it. He did all the pleasing of me actually. I didn’t really do much to pleasure him. But I did compliment him a lot. I know words and visuals turn him on more than anything.

We moved to the bedroom…he wanted to start there. I sucked on his dick. No trouble with hardness this time.

He fucked me in my favourite position, me lying on my belly. His fave was doggie style, but it can hurt sometimes.

He sucked on my ears as he did that. Kissed my neck. Bit me. Everything I loved. Sooooo hawt.

Said he loved the mirror. Sometimes slapped my ass. He loved my ass.

I got about 6, or 7 orgasms then.

We moved to the living room floor like I wanted. He was so accommodating it’s almost shocking. Either he has changed or this is how he is in the beginning.

I told him I wanted to remember what he looked like, and he said he hoped I don’t so that I’d have to keep seeing him.

I wanted to say that, if we still know each other in 50 years, we can look back on this time of our life when we are free of wrinkles. But I didn’t say that. Too mushy for now I guess.

We had sex on the trampoline. It was too tiny. Too awkward. But now we can say we’ve done it.

We had sex against the wall. I put my cork platform shoes on. It was pretty hot. I got a couple orgasms from that, and my legs got weak. He sat down on the arm of the sofa while I sat on him, so that I can rest my legs. I was again surprised about how accommodating he was. But I wanted to be fucked against the wall. So we did that some more, and then my legs got really weak again after a couple orgasms, so I – rather dramatically – fell onto the douvet we had brought to the living room, and we both lied down. I was so content and in a bliss. Weak, but it felt nice.

He decided that he wanted to cum finally. So, again in my fave position, he fucked me and came in like 5 seconds. I came too. His cum was so hot. He was quivering which I love. He lied on me, which I also loved.

I went to shower the cum off me and my hair. Then he showered. We were gonna shower together, but I wanted to pee and wash my hair.

While he showered, I changed to my purple wig. He thought that was cute too.

We lied down in bed, started making out again, and started fucking again. Last time he only came once, but his time he came twice so I was thrilled.

We started out in my fave position. He really fucked me nice and long…I just kept getting orgasms. I had 12 by the time he turned me around and said he wanted to cum on my belly.

I actually wanted that too. I wanted to see his face. I wondered if he wanted that too. There’s always gonna be a small part of me wishing that there’s more to us than fucking. Maybe not even a small part.

I wanted to see him climax. He joked about not watching him climax and made a gnarly climax face lol.

He lied down on me after. Quivering. I loved it.

Then we spooned. I loved that too.

We talked about bouldering. I wish I was more into bouldering, but I’m not. I did remember a lot of the routes though, and we discussed them.

He said that he can do better splits because of it, and he said that actually helped in fucking me in my fave position, because he was basically doing a split.

We went on and talked about his motivation, and juicing. Suddenly he felt it was late, and needed to go. He had a meeting the next day. It was around 1:15.

We found our clothes. As we were getting dressed, he said my belly button was perfect, and kissed it. He does seem to be fascinated by my belly. My small waist perhaps. He mentioned his body fat, I said it’s cute fat. He actually looked very chiseled and yummy today. I saw the 11 lines on him, and the V.

We bounced on the trampoline together for a bit. He was making conversations about what was the last movie I saw. Strange.

At the door way, he pointed out that we both had the same fob keys and thought it was cute.

He checked out my car key and learnt that I have a Lexus. I actually left the key there for him to discover, so that we can have this conversation. I wanted him to know that I’m upperclass-ish.

I asked him why he wanted the BMW. He didn’t know. He said, because it’s German, and white, like me.

We talked about Tesla cars as we took the elevator down and walked to his car. It was cold. He joked about driving me to the front door. I didn’t take up on it…probably should’ve. Could’ve been funny.

He said, Thank you. I was like, Whaaat? Are you also British?

Then he faked a British accent. He said, Thank you for a fun evening. So, I thanked him too.

We mentioned a couple times that it’s gonna be a month before we can fuck again. Sigh.

He got home in under 15 min. (I think it took him 18 min to come over at 10pm)

We chatted a bit about how good the night was. He said his legs were so weak, and I said I think I know why. It probably had to do with my 14 orgasms. He said the night was awesome and I agreed, and we said good night.

Ahhhh….so fun.

Wish it’ll always be this fun, that we never get tired of each other.

Thank you.

 

 

Derrick is Jamie’s friend who is really good at volleyball. But more importantly, he is really sweet of a guy.

He is so encouraging. He is always high-fiving everyone. Even when you’ve made a mistake, he’d dash across the court to high-five you. When he was playing with us, I felt instantly better.

He is maybe 5’4″. Incredible that at that height, he can spike, and he can spike like no one else. He is so cool when he plays. He is more “creative” and stylish than Brodie! And I think he might be a little bit better than Brodie.

I never thought I’d be interested in him. But he is so different from most people, in a very positive, cool, sweet, attractive way.

Today, I almost felt a little drawn to him! He was so nice to me. He was so cute when he snuck up to my other side to give me a low-five. At the end of the game, we lost the championship game (won the first one, lost the last two), and he said, just remember Tanya’s last slam that helped us win the first game. And he was jokingly fanning himself. Haha. So cute.

I actually was the reason why we won the first game, but also the reason why we lost the second game. Third game, I wasn’t as involved.

Anyway, I think the fact that Derrick was sort of flirting with me was the reason why I became more attracted. I checked out what he really looked like for the first time. I guess him being a short Asian made me never check him out. I checked out his features. Hmmm…..I guess he wasn’t good looking. But still, cute and adorable in a way. Like, ugly cute.

But, I almost think I can date him for a couple weeks. I’d feel that it can’t be long-term. I just want to enjoy him for a bit.

But I’d feel that maybe he’d be so sweet and so perfect, it’d be impossible to leave him.

I wonder what kind of work he does. Can’t even guess. I don’t know anyone like him.

If he asks me out on a date, I’d go. But, I wouldn’t go forth to email Jamie to find out Derrick’s contact.

With Jackson, he was so ripped, hit on me so hard, and I had heard good things about him – smart, nice, innocent, shy around most ppl, outgoing around Ty. Who would’ve thought he’d turn out to be such an awkward, sexual, and anal-loving guy.

Anal is just not an attractive concept.

I do miss his passion though. And I wonder why he hasn’t texted me. I don’t particularly want to have sex with him, because I’m still so bruised from the make out session, I’m afraid he’d break me if we had sex.

I just really really REALLY hope to have amazing sexy sex with Matthew before I go to Asia. He didn’t msg me tonight. Sigh. If we don’t do it tomorrow (Friday), we might not ever…I’d have my period, and then I’ll be gone for over a month.

I’m not gonna contact him though. I’m not that desperate. I’d find new boys to make out with before I go to contact him. I’d date Derrick and make out with Derrick before I contact him.

Hopefully he appreciates me enough to contact me tomorrow (Friday).

I’m still bruised from making out with Jackson, but am almost healed.

Now the questions are, Will I get to have sex with Matthew before I go to Asia? And, why hasn’t Jackson texted me?

Not that I really want to have sex with Jackson, tbh. We are on different frequencies. I wouldn’t want to be bruised each time. It’ll make it impossible to have another fuck buddy.

Matthew….well, he is super fun. The funnest person right now. To talk to, to have sex with. But, I just don’t feel that I can count on us having sex this weekend. If we don’t, I get my period, and no sex before I leave for Asia.

Sigh. With these things, you just can’t force it. I’m too busy, too stressed, and more at peace now, to be throwing a temper tantrum over him not making an effort to have sex with me every weekend.

I have not met a guy that likes who I am, and will cater to my needs to the extend that I want and need.

Mentioned Patrick last night when I was over at Anna and Wilson’s for dinner. Anna said that Danielle (?) said he was a douche bag, because Tanisha’s name came up.

So Tanisha probably did find out that he is a cheater. Which means, most likely he was still cheating later on in Toronto.

I don’t know the details, nor do I care to find out.

The truth is, Patrick really was a douche bag, and will never change. Matthew too.

Yet they are so fun. Other guys are just boring in comparison.

I’d love to meet a good, fun, sincere guy. A guy that is my #1 fan, is good to me and good for me. And vice versa.

The long-awaited double denim party finally arrived! I had bought a denim bow top, denim bikinis, denim bra and panties, denim overall, and denim onesie, in preparation for the party.

I’ve been looking forward to it because it’s Cyndi’s party, and the theme is fun! I’m also looking forward to it because I was hoping to see Jackson again. So of course, I gotta look sexy.

On Friday, I was hoping to meet up with Matthew, but he was busy. For Saturday, I had the party. I said maybe after…he said, play by ear. Hhm. Fine. I might get lucky with Jackson anyway.

I was quite nervous about going. Not sure if it’s because of Jackson. I posted two bathroom selfie photos of me wearing the onesie. It was a hit, lol. By today (Sunday) I have 74 likes. It does make me feel good.

The most amazing thing is, last night, after posting the photos, Patrick, Ashley, and Matthew messaged me. Haa. I do love the attention.

Patrick said he was thinking about me last night, and asked when I’d go to Las Vegas to visit him. Such a liar. But still nice.

Ashley said he saw my outfit and sent an ok/fine hand sign emoticon. I wasn’t sure if he was interested…now I know, he is. That’s good news.

Matthew said, “Ugh, that body tho”… Not surprised. But he got home at midnight and was too exhausted to come over. This is only the second week, and he already can’t come. Sigh. But, I can look at it this way: Maybe he had such a good time, he felt guilty and decided to spend more time with his gf and friends.

Fortunately, I didn’t care too much. Jackson was at the party.

It took forever to start talking to him. At first he walked by and said, “Ex Machina!” I was surprised that he recognized me. Then, he walked past again, but I ignored him again, because I was in the middle of a conversation.

By 10pm, I thought, man, what if he is leaving. I needed to talk to him. I tried to work my way towards him in the kitchen, but people kept stopping me to talk to me. Jackson was talking to other people too.

Finally we were just one group of people away from each other. Devon tried to introduce me to her friend Rob, who was overwhelmed by my onesie. Though I’d never guess that he was interested. He seemed un affected by me. I whispered to Devon that I wasn’t interested in Rob, I was interested in Jackson. So, as Jackson walked by, she introduced him to me.

That was nice of her, except she was flirting with him so much! She talked about loving anal. I said, I don’t love anal. And Jackson just couldn’t stop laughing. He was heaving. It was so weird, we left. Tyler even asked him what he was laughing about. He couldn’t explain it.

As the night went on, I realized that Jackson was the weirdest and most awkward person I know, and not really in a good or attractive way.

Devon showed her and Edwin’s basement suit to Jackson and I. I had already seen it, but thought I’d take a tour with them just for the heck of it.

It was so awkward still. He was just a very strange person. Not very funny. Just awkward.

He tried to be clear that he was only into me, but he was sorta maybe flirting with other girls.

When we were all sitting on the big sofa smoking hooka, he paced past us over and over. Finally I moved the big bowl of popcorn and just asked him to sit down. Our arms brushed, which, felt kinda nice because I know I have super soft skin that turns guys on. But we didn’t do anything.

Cathy was sitting on my other side. He was drinking with her at times through the night. I wasn’t sure if he was into her also. At one point, he bit her toe. It was the weirdest thing.

Devon came by and at on the sofa arm beside him, complimented him on his “occipital bone” (yup, she is weird too) and started massaging his head. WTF. Then massaged his shoulders.

I finally had enough. I wasn’t jealous, but just, WTF. What was Devon trying to do?? If I wasn’t so turned off by his awkwardness, I would’ve been pissed at both of them.

But instead, I just decided that I’m going home. I suddenly stood up and left.

He must’ve gotten up right after, because when I went to get my jacket, I saw him at the doorway. I turned back into the house to say bye to everyone.

I left the house, going towards my car on the side of the house. I think he was waiting for me in front of the house. I suddenly heard him yell, “Ex Machina!” It was cute that he waited for me. It was the cutest thing he’s done all night.

He asked if he can give me his number. At this point, I was a bit shy and nervous, despite him being quite unattractive all night. (Apparently Devon had come out to the balcony and saw us. I had no idea.)

I went to my car, then I noticed him walking towards me. He asked, “Can I get a ride?” Hmm..ok. He was on the way.

I tried to start conversations with him. He just looked at me and grinned mostly. He was a tough one to talk to. I did learn that he was born in Vancouver, grew up in the interior, and then moved back here. He studied business then switched to computer science. He has his own IT company called Sundance, which is his also middle name.

He wasn’t too into learning about me. Originally I thought he might be interested in dating me, but then I realized that he just wanted to fuck. So far, that’s every guy that I’ve met. Except for the French guys I guess. I wonder why.

I parked, and he asked, “Can I kiss you?” I looked at him, he leaned in and gave me a forceful, open-mouthed kiss. It was not the best type of kiss. I put the car into park. and we started making out. He was, well, passionate.

Right away he went for my neck, my ears, and he bit me. In a sense, that was good, because those are my top 3 turn ons. But he didn’t do them well. I didn’t get an instant orgasm from him sucking on my ear. Not sure why. He bit my neck and arms so hard, I bruised. I still have a boob hickey too, which kinda pisses me off, because that makes it hard for me to hook up with, say, Matthew, any time soon.

The passion was good, but, he scares me a bit. He bites hard. I asked about his turn ons, and he likes anal. Ahh.

He kept telling me what he wanted to do to me…and I didn’t like any of it. I kept wondering why he didn’t invite me to his place already. The car was too small for us to have a proper make out session. Maybe his place was messy.

Oh yeah, and he likes to film things. Man, that’s weird.

I ended up masturbating on top of him, and he was filming my body. Asked me to say my name….that’s so ridiculous! How many videos of girls does he keep?!

Then he wanted to climax too. He got on top of me, and he put his dick in my mouth. It’s short and fat. It’s not the prettiest dick.

I was a bit grossed out by that part actually…sucking his dick until he came. I didn’t like him thrusting his penis into my mouth. He wanted to cum into my mouth, but I refused. We had agreed that he can cum onto my chest, but it ended up on my clothes and hair instead.

Overall, it was a very strange experience. I was still turned on, mainly because he was passionate, but….not sure if I wanted to pursue it.

He said he’d be my sex toy, and I’ll be his. I kinda like that. I get this feeling that he is a one-person guy. He said he’d message me while I’m in China…he was planning out the whole thing…whispering all this while we made out. So weird.

I did like that he said it’s been a while for him, but not sure if it’s true. And that he wanted to do this since the Noveween party. I can believe that.

He said we’ll keep it a secret. Hmmm… Didn’t like it. Then again, it depends on the reason why he wants that.

When I got home, I kept forgetting to text him back so that he’d have my number. And when I did remember, I didn’t really want to.

The next day I did. And we had texted each other a line or two. Didn’t miss him at all.

I don’t miss Matthew that much either. There’s just so much going on.

I kinda wanna see Ashley.

Planning to go see Patrick in Las Vegas in May or June, since he invited again. Would love to know what he has in mind when he invited me.

He probably thinks that I’ll just swing by for an evening…the truth is that I have nothing to do there. I don’t go there with my girlfriends. What I’d love to do is to go by myself for 3 days, and just spend time with him. Go to a show, hold hands and make out in public, that kind of stuff. I’d dress up for him every day, and we’d make love every day, and have so much fun.

The truth is though, I’d probably get bored fast. We don’t have that much in common. Matthew and I can probably last longer. Then again, both are Geminis. Then again, I’m sorta a Gemini. It’s my rising sign.

Volleyball was FUN today! It was tournament day. Dan wasn’t there. Derek was there. Brodie was beside me. I got lots of time with the ball, and I did well. I screwed up a lot too, but I also did well a few times. Everyone had more fun today, probably because of Derek 🙂

He is shorter than me, and not good looking, but he is so super sweet. He is really good too. He can jump so high, and spike the ball despite of his height. I’m inspired.

His hands were so soft. It stood out when we high-fived. Haha. I brought it up and Jamie totally agreed. Hahaha.

We won every game as usual. Towards the end, we even played 3 on 3! It was hard, but it was fun!

I hope Dan skips the next one too. I guess he skipped today because of St. Patrick’s Day.

—

Gotta let go of Maria this weekend. Keesha has been really good. Though, sick a bit too much. For now, I think having just Keesha is good.

—

Rings arrived but the blue line rings were packed with green line rings, and green line rings were packed with light green line rings. I was so pissed.

Turned out it was half my fault, half Judy’s fault. But I’m too angry to back down. They are too. I’m gonna get my red and grey rings, and will find another supplier.

—

Been wondering all day if Matthew is gonna set up tomorrow with me. I didn’t want to be the first to ask, because I did initiate it last week.

He messaged me at around 10:30pm finally, to ask what I’m up to this St. Patrick’s Day. He said he is busy tomorrow (Friday), but probably free on Saturday. I said I have the double denim party, so probably after. But he said to play by ear, and that I msg him when I’m done. Sigh. I’m never the priority.

Unless the party is super unfun, or ends early, I think I’ll just not msg him. I don’t care to not be the priority…

I know, that means either waiting another week, or, another month, or never see him again. But, whatevs. I’m in that rebellious mood. I want to be prioritized at the top. Sigh.

I don’t know….maybe I’ll see how I feel. After all, he did message me today. It’s not all bad.

I read up on his sign. He is a Gemini with Venus in Aries. Basically, that’s double-playerness. I’m Aries with Venus in Taurus. Basically, I seem like a player but I’m actually looking for a life-long partner.

Maybe I’ll see Jackson at the double denim party. I really hope so. I’d love to have someone to distract me from Matthew.

Jackson has such a nice body. He likes Sci-Fi too. And he is smart. He seems like an extreme type of person, which, I do love. There are issues with that, but I kind like it when someone has a lot of character.

Brodie has a nice body too. And he is a fairly nice guy. Fairly sincere too. But, the boring personality is such a killer. No sense of humour really.

I wish there are more guys for me to choose from. I wonder if I might meet someone cute on this trip 🙂 Romance via business, that’s what the horoscope fortune-teller said!

China, here I come again.

People I must visit:

Shanghai:

Anderson and family (bring gifts)

Tina and Chris (bring gifts)

Victoria and Yi-Shan

Hang-Zhou:

Deriek

Jing

Yi-Wu:

the fair

Sheng-Zhen:

Sally

Panties

 

 

 

Oh Matthew. Still so very cute. I hope this lasts.

I don’t expect much from him I guess. Just to be consistently respectful and interested. I’m happy that he messages me everyday since we had sex.

It’s hard not to think there can be more to us, since we have so many parallels in life. It’s hard to even imagine that someone could be more compatible/similar to him than I am. But, we have different core values. I wouldn’t cheat. When I think about that, I don’t feel that there can be more to us. Just being friends with benefits is probably the most ideal situation. Everything I’ve read about him, and everything he’s told me, tell me that he is addicted to newness, and his affection won’t last. Sigh. I’m already sad.

I need to think about why I shouldn’t fall for him.

1. He is not interested in seeing me bald  – not actually caring
2. He is a cheater – not respectful
3. He is addicted to new love – no chance of becoming a faithful boyfriend

It was amazing.

He was cuter, funner, and nicer than I remembered.

I was so nervous and excited when he was on his way. He had sent me photos of himself, and it seemed that his hairline has receded. But I thought to myself, no matter, I like his sense of humour, and his body.

He was nervous too, confiding that he wasn’t as good as a robot lol.

I couldn’t believe that him and I were meeting up after all these years. I thought that one day I’d succeed, and that I’ll be “presentable” enough to get with him, actually. I knew I was struggling too much financially that it would’ve been embarrassing to see him.

I remember how snobby he used to be. The person must live downtown, for example. Now he is driving to Burnaby to see me. He changed his plans around to make it work. Why? Because he has changed? Because he hasn’t got anyone else in line? Because he is realizing that I’m worth it?

We’ve been chatting long enough that I felt like I know him for a long time. Yet, I didn’t remember what he sounded like. I didn’t quite remember what he looked like.

So, he got here. I had planned out my outfit more than a week ago. White denim shorts with coral loose sweater. My heart racing.

I came out through the front door, and there he was. He was so…slender. He seemed much smaller than I remembered. But so hot. He is 6’1, or 6’3/4 as I remembered him saying, 7 years ago. He looked so different than I remembered, but same…. He didn’t age really. No receding hair line.

He sounded so different than I remembered. I seemed to remember that his voice was way too keep. And I remembered that he had this annoying habit of sticking his tongue out. He doesn’t do that anymore.

He still seemed tiny bit gay in his demeanour, but he’s proven how straight he is through all the years of flirting lol.

We hugged at first. Then, in the elevator, we kissed. He was so excited to look around the condo. He liked it.

He bounced on my rebounder in the corner of the living room. Then I jumped on. Then we kissed some more. He said I looked younger than before.

We went to the master bedroom, and started making out. Slowly taking our clothes off, leading to sex. It was so much fun getting to it, and during it, and after it.

We laughed so much. We talked so much. We enjoyed each other so much.

He liked it dark in the room, so my concerns about my body was gone. He thought my body was so hot. I thought he was less muscular than I remembered, but still an attractive body shape. His face was so hot, his balls were perfect (which he loved hearing), and his ass was super cute. His dick used to be way to big for me, but somehow it’s just right now. It was much smaller than I remembered when it was flaccid. (Yes, it was flaccid when he took his pants off…he said it could be because he was too nervous. Reminded me of how Patrick couldn’t get hard when he first came over….)

 

The day before, I had told him that I liked my ears sucked on, and could get an orgasm from it. He was curious to try it. And sure enough, I was climaxing like crazy! I think I got an orgasm just 2 minutes into him sucking on my ear. It was more than what Patrick did (since Patrick never kept going on my ears like that).

Sex felt amazing. He was just the right size. A little bit long, so it can hurt if he poked too deep. I wasn’t sore the next day.

I think what made everything even more fun was the conversations between us. Knowing that Gemini’s like to keep things light-hearted and fun, knowing that they value intellect and word-play just as much as sex, I was heavy on the conversation with him. I mean, I like it too. He was so witty. We laughed so much it was just….a little piece of heaven.

He only came once. He put on a condom but didn’t come in it. He wanted to not use a condom, and opted for pulling out instead. He said it felt so much better that way. He did use a condom when he came over before, 6, 7, years ago. No problems there. But, yeah, again, just like Patrick. With Patrick, I was turned on too when he didn’t use a condom. It was as though we were closer.

We tried different positions. My wig was a bit in the way, but we managed. It wasn’t destroyed. Though I’m having trouble finding the same wig as backups (Forever Young Straight Edgy in St. Tropez colour).

He loved my ass. I didn’t know he was such an ass person. Well, that’s my asset! 😀 He loved my tiny waist, love my smooth skin. He said my boobs seemed bigger than before. Even though he didn’t care much for boobs, he still liked it.

We finished in doggie style, his favourite. It felt really good for me too actually. But he finished so fast. He’s been holding off for a long time. He came over my back. I wish I could see him get all weak and jerky. I love how guys do that after an orgasm. At least Patrick and Matthew did that. Josh didn’t seem to.

We showered separately, which was a bit weird. He was touring the place as I showered. When he showered, he kept talking to me, so I just stood outside of the bathtub and talked to him lol.

We talked about business. We talked about my alopecia. We talked probably more than we fucked. Just like with Patrick. It was so much fun. He has a billionaire mentor and partner. So lucky and impressive.

One thing I really noticed about him is that he is a mirrorer. Very very strong mirrorer. I noticed in FB msg that if I used a certain word, he’ll use it too later on. Consciously or subconsciously. I noticed that when we were sitting naked on the bed, I’d touch my knee and he’d touch his knee about a second later. I’d put my hand on my chin and he’d do the same a second later. I know it’s a sign of attraction, but I’ve never seen it done so quickly lol. It makes me wonder if I can take this to the next level. What if I do certain things, such as love him. Would he love me back? I’d better not entertain that…

He came at around 8:45, 9pm, and left shortly after 1am. We had such a fun night.

I walked him to his car and to get the parking pass back. As I walked away, he said, “Let’s not make this the last time.” A strange thing to say, because that made it sound like we might do it once more. I was hoping for more. But that’s ok. I’ll set my expectations low.

As I walked away, he said, “I’m just gonna stand here for a bit and watch you.” That was cute…

After the night, he told me the drive home was nice. There was no one in the street. He didn’t say much about the night. He mentioned that the clock springs forward so it was going to be 3am soon. I didn’t reply.

The next day though, I wrote a longer message, telling him that I had fun and woke up happy. And I told him how much I loved him sucking on my ears.

He was quick to respond and said it was fun and hot, the best combo.

I went to Sum’s wedding that next day. We chatted a bit before I left. I sent him a pic of me in the cute multi-coloured dress I was wearing to the wedding. He said it was sexy. We chatted about daydreaming about the night before….

We met up on Saturday. Wedding was Sunday. Monday, didn’t hear from him. I was busy anyway. Went to a piano concert with Vanessa. Knot Theory got free tickets! My first symphony. It was….impressive piano playing, but I was falling asleep.

Got home to the VAs. They are behind. Oh well. We have a ring packaging error issue….Judy’s factory packed green rings into blue packaging. I’m concerned.

I was missing Matthew.

At around midnight, I went to the master bedroom to lie down. I missed him so much. I felt like crying.

I masturbated. Thinking, not so much about the sex, but just everything about him. I wish he was the one for me. I wish I was his one and only.

I passed out after a decent orgasm…and woke up again at 3am. My VAs were stranded by me.

I noticed a message from Matthew from around 1:30am, asking if I have descended from my post-sex high. I had mentioned to him that I tend to get incredibly distracted after sex, and that it was some sort of high.

I told him about the masturbation, and how it was a kind of low for me right now because I was missing “it”. I didn’t say I was missing him. But…I think, we miss each other. I was happy to hear from him. Given his track record, I don’t expect to hear from him necessarily.

I hope we see each other once or twice more before I go to China. After that, who knows.

 

So thoughtful! Everyone gets massages, tarot/psychic/palm readings, plus there was food, wine, and everyone got a little goodybag with Sephora lip stuff inside!

I met:

Aldea (al-deh-ya) who co-owns a boat-fixing company with her husband (a mechanic), lives on Bowen island, and went West Vancouver high school with Annie. They’ve known each other since grade 10. She is the nicest and unpretentious person there. She told me about this custom fabric place called Spoonflower! Oh and she is getting married in September!

Leeta – Tall, red(?) head who was reading her phone message so I went to talk to her. She has a friend Nicola who has alopecia, and cured herself by not eating any sugar.

Jenny – Asian girl with dark-rimmed glasses. She is pretty funny and chill. She was at Winnipeg for 2.5 years, hosting a show!

Angela – her and her husband own a heavy metal cruise company! Craziest thing. 70,000 tons of metal it’s called. Her laugh is a bit crazy.

Talked to a few more people and they had interesting info to share, but they tend to not include me. Not sure why. Vancouver clich-iness?

Saw April and Jenna. They are both fake people. But they seem alright last night.

I really enjoy learning new stuff. For example this girl with a super thin wedding band she got in Paris. It looked really nice. Another girl has an IUD and she doesn’t get periods.

Most of these people are moms. They are my potential customers, or at least market research group candidates. But, I don’t know how to make this work.

Oh and Sue, Annie’s sister, is engaged! I like her more than I knew! She is so nice to me, most of all. She is actually very career-oriented, which I like. And she used to be a ski instructor! Her story about how her fiance proposed was pretty hilarious. He got down on one knee when she was in mid-air on her favourite run. She was like, “Fuck. Are you injured? If you are not, I’m gonna keep going.” lol. And she said no to the proposal at first.

She is gonna keep her lifestyle of flying between Calgary and Vancouver even after marriage. That’s interesting!

Oh and had a 45 minute session with Christine, a psychic. I felt that she BS’d me so much. I was offended actually. She was rude. I didn’t like her. The chair massage was lame too. And the gift was a Sephora lip balm, which didn’t feel good on my lips. I enjoyed meeting a few new people though! I gifted Annie a pair of custom mugs, and that HONY book. With the gift boxes and everything, it was 45+15 (USD) + 15 (CAD) = $100 CAD. Big gift, but probably didn’t look it. She hosted a generous party though! I liked the bacon-wrapped-dates-wrapped-almond/feta cheese.

Sue likes me. And she is no BS. Annie is a great person too, but I feel that she doesn’t like me. So strange that she invites me to things.

—

Started talking to Matthew at around 10:30, after I left the party. Chatted on and off ’til 3am. Sigh. He is so cute at this point. It makes me sad to think that I can’t have him like this forever. I like flirting with him, and turning each other on so immensely.

Supposedly we meet up today, for the first time in 6, 7 years. I’m nervous, excited, and scared. I am not completely sure how it’ll go down, or if it’ll even happen. Fingers crossed. My gods and guardians, please make our encounter awesome!! <3