Category: Uncategorized

1. Loves me and I love him
2. We make each other happier
3. We laugh at each other’s jokes
4. We make each other a better person
5. We like each other
6. We are each other’s #1 fan
7. We appreciate the quirkiness in each other
8. We believe in each other
9. We respect each other very much
10. We are a great team
11. We are turned on by each other
12. We have amazing sex life
13. We rarely fight
14. We are curious about each other
15. We are very transparent with each other
16. We share similar values and morals
17. We understand each other well, but still find pleasant surprises in each other
18. We share similar dreams and hopes about our future
19. Is patient with me
20. Is generous with me, money and time
21. Will and can travel with me often
22. Doesn’t want kids either
23. Is a kind, caring person
24. Is a loyal person who will not cheat on me
25. Does thoughtful things for me
26. Makes me feel great about myself
27. Is always growing, improving himself
28. Always willing to improve our relationship, making sure it doesn’t go stale
29. Is positive and generally happy
30. I can trust him and rely on him
31. Earns enough money to enjoy life with me
32. Has good friends whom I like
33. Is a good friend to me, possibly a best friend
34. Is healthy
35. Is smart
36. Is a good communicator

Brad came by today, even though it’s a Monday and we just saw each other on Friday. It’s because I’m leaving for Tony Robbin’s Unleash the Power Within on Wednesday and back on Monday.

It’s nice that I get to see Brad more often than with other guys.

I thought I was running late, so I changed from 7 to 8pm. Before he saw it, I realized I could do 7pm, so I let him know. He told me that he might run late too, so he’d arrive between 7 and 8. I didn’t like that.

I told him to let me know half hour before he leaves, meanwhile feeling a bit disappointed. Surprisingly, he said he shoved food into his mouth, showered, and he sent me a nice photo of himself fresh out of the shower. Aimed for 7:15 to 7:30, and let me know when he left. That’s nice 🙂

It was a shorter night though. 7:15 ’til 9:45….2.5hours. I guess it was still alright. Last time it was 4 hours!

I wore purple hair and my ombre purple tank top and denim shorts. Same same as with Matthew. This way I don’t have to think too much. The only thing is, Brad can’t see purple.

I like that he comes closer to the door more than Matthew did. We kissed passionately at the front entrance. Our kisses are always so passionate 🙂

He asked me how my day was. I told him about meeting with Alice and Zeljka about life insurance, and he knew all about it, of course! He used to do that! That was kinda cool. He could’ve recommended someone really good to me he said.

He was in front of his computer all day, then went climbing. The jeans shipped out today.

Tonight, we had oral like usual, then had sex twice. The difference is that we talked after each time we had sex, which is how I like it.

And sex was better tonight too. When in my fave position, he went in in a way that felt quite good. It was slow and sexy too. It’s brighter in the room with him, so I get to check him out in the mirror. His muscles looked really nice. He is so lean. He came in that position, a bit quicker than he expected. We didn’t even get to his fave, which is doggie style.

During the second time, we tried me lying on top of him. Surprisingly, he came in that position too. And again a bit too quickly.

We talked quite a bit, about the US election, about West World, about my theory of having multiple short lives, about being agnostic versus being atheist, about his cousin who is always in his uncle’s dreams (such a shocker!), about a similar motivational event he’s been to, by Sterling (said he got over hating his dad…that’s another shocker). It was the first time we had somewhat of a more in depth talk. I can tell he is smart. Smarter than I expected.

He is pretty cool really. We have lots in common.

But I don’t feel that he really wants me…yet. But we are having better and better chemistry it seems.

I could’ve gone again, but he was thinking to leave then. It was only 9:40ish. He is stressed about work and tends to have insomnia. He has a busy day ahead, wrapping up the cell phone screen protecter business.

We kissed for a long time by his car again.

I’m curious about how our relationship will progress. There seems to be potential.

His sense of humour is not like Matthew’s. Matthew was so good at conversational humour. Brad is better at telling stories. There’s still much I don’t know about him. I don’t know what he has been like in relationships. Matthew definitely is no relationship material…but he excites me so much.

I was really excited to see Brad tonight though. My heart sped up as I waited for the elevator.

I do like seeing him casually right now. In a real relationship, I don’t know if he is gonna make me a happier person, and vice versa.

 

 

 

 

 

Had my period last week, so I didn’t see Brad.

We texted/whatsapped a bit. He told me he’s been craving me. That’s sexy. (But he said that same thing three times already. He doesn’t have the same diversity as Matthew. Not nearly. But he tells pretty good stories.)

He also sent me a topless selfie, by my request. It was really hot. He has abs! And tiny waist. So yum.

I was so turned on and anxious to see him today. It’s only been two weeks but it felt like forever. With Matthew, 2 weeks was acceptable. But I’ve been seeing Brad every week and it was easy to get used to that.

The last two days I haven’t been as horny though. But I was still excited about seeing him tonight.

We decide to meet earlier today, at 7pm. That kinda works. He stayed ’til 11pm. We spend more time this way. I think before it would be 9pm~1am

He was on-time, as usual. Matthew is never quite on time, but he’d message me like 10 times before getting here, from getting ready to cat emojis to pin drops on the way here.

I was happy to go down to see him, but not nervous like when Matthew comes. Gosh I miss that guy.

I wore my new leather jacket with fur, leather shorts, and leather corset. Oh and my dark brown curly wig. Ran into too many neighbours.

Brad was by the door, as usual. I like that. He was wearing a black jacket with stitchings that kinda matched my black leather jacket.

We kissed passionately at the door and he said I tasted good. Then we kissed more all the way up the elevator.

Up here in the condo, he pushed me against the shoe cupboard, and all the shark fin squashes above it – 3 of them – started rolling around and about to fall off, ahaha

We moved to the bedroom before he destroyed things.

Sex was fine. I’m more and more used to his looks so he looks cuter now. His body is nicer and nicer for the same reason, but also because of the photo he sent me. His abs were so defined there. He said he’s been going to the climbing gym more and more now too, so he’s lost 8 pounds since we started sleeping together, and is getting more muscular.

He ate me out …I was self conscious because my period had just ended and I probably either tasted like blood or an old diva cup. But he said I tasted good.

I didn’t really care to be eaten out though. I hardly felt anything.

I went down on him. It was slightly more fun. He was easily turned on by that. He made me stop after maybe 5 minutes because he was going to cum. Said I was too good at it.

We used the fire and ice condom – our fave. He came pretty quickly.

It felt a bit bright in the room but he said he liked being able to see me. Matthew seemed to prefer darker rooms. I didn’t discover the bedside light back then.

I can’t remember if it was the first or second time, that Brad came during doggie style. It felt really good for both of us.

He always started kissing me right after, instead of sex, chat, sex, chat… so it gets blurred how each orgasm went. Both Matthew and Fin were more like, sex chat sex chat. I prefer that actually. Brad is more like, sex sex sex chat.

He wanted to give each other oil massage. I gave him front and back. Didn’t seem like he was going to offer it until I asked him to massage my back. He hardly massage my front. Hmm… not very thoughtful.

He put on a condom and started to get limp. It’s one of the originals of Magnum…said he can’t feel anything.

So I got on top of him and gave him a hand job with lots of oil. I did some reading recently about erogenous zones. One of them is the underlip area of a dick. I played with that area and he got so turned on! So I kept doing it, and said he’s never felt so good.

He got such an intense orgasm…when he looked at himself, his dick shot the cum so far it hit him in the eye, lolololol!

His eye was burning for a while but he said it was worth it. Haha.

I wish I had as much fun. I mean, it was fun, but, it’s not Matthew-fun or Fin-fun. I don’t know why. He is just not as good at it? Or his face didn’t turn me on as much? Not sure.

But I do have fun with him. He is looking cuter to me. And his skin is soft with a light tan. His hair curly and fun to play with. His ass is super cute. His body is well-proportioned. Long legs, wide shoulders, narrow waist. Almost like how Patrick was.

We then took a shower, using Matthew’s shower gel to cut the grease. He did offer to wash my back which was more thoughtful.

We then lied down and talked for maybe an hour, about biz and stuff. They just signed with an investor, owner of Second Clothing, from Montreal. So it’s a big day for them! He said he’ll be getting paid like an employee soon and it’ll be good. Right now he doesn’t have a lot of cash.

His parents were away so he had a board game night last night. Stayed up until 3am. And had 3 beers. Koda woke him up at 7am and he couldn’t sleep after. Plus a hangover.

He said he used to be drunk pretty much every time he had sex (even in relationships…what…) I was the first person that he’d have sex sober with. And when he drank he can only do it once. We do it three times. Interesting. My guess is he hasn’t been in a long term relationship. How can one get drunk every time for sex…

He talked about dealing with difficult customers. It’s surprising that he can get into a shouting match with a customer. There’s definitely more to his personality than I know.

He talked about his family having many entrepreneurs. His uncle founded Spence Diamonds. As I asked if he founded it by himself, I remembered, Brad’s last name is Spence! Wow. He said this uncle is a jerk though and his dad wants nothing to do with him. The uncle is always dating 21 year olds. I said I guess it’s ok if it’s for love not for money, but he said it is. He bought her an expensive BMW, and Brad joked about how the girl is probably snorting cocaine off his body.

When they were little, they’d go to this uncle’s place for Xmas. He’d give them each $100. As 10yo kids they were so thrilled. Their grandparents were poor and would give them $2. So they’d get $102 every Xmas. Just funny the way he said it.

His dad is a very successful financial planner. Sells life insurance. Haha. I could’ve gone to his dad for this insurance thing I try to set up!

His dad has friends that help him too. He thinks one of them just likes hanging out with him because he is young.

He tried to do the insurance thing for a while. Was rookie of the year, but then he didn’t sell for 4 months because he didn’t ask for referrals from the initial clients. Probably not the actual reason but that’s how he saw it.

Turned out him and his biz partner / best friend Taz have had many biz ideas, but their problems was Taz’s lack of follow-through. They have done the website biz and phone screen protector kiosk biz together. Though Brad was the one that trained him. That’s cool. He is the alpha male then. I like alphas.

I do like him. But I don’t sense that he is making more effort to woo me than before. As in, it’s not like this is developing into more.

His tour will begin in a couple of months. That’s good. Gives us some time to have fun I hope.

He thinks that once I have developed the silver rings into a solid version, I should go on Kickstarter. That’s a good point.

I told him the fading ring story…he wasn’t of much help there. I think Patrick would’ve tried harder. Or at least the old version of Patrick. That was one of the things I liked about him. He wanted to help. Matthew..not sure…he wanted to help me find a birthday restaurant, but I never asked him about biz. Fin was not entrepreneural it seems. But we never ran out of things to talk about. He was pretty funny too.

So I walked Brad out. We kissed by his car for quite a while again. Neither of us wanted to stop kissing. When we were finally done kissing, he said, “And now I’m going to drive into a pole.” Ahahaha. That’s the cutest thing he’s said tonight.

 

 

Had the most massive bleed on Friday from my period! I woke up early in the day, because I felt my body pushing the tampon out.

I felt wetness between my legs, and saw that I had bled onto the douvet cover, the douvet, the bed sheet, and the waterproof sheet underneath.

This has never happened before. I spent two hours cleaning up, showered, and then, got out of the shower, bled onto the area rug in the bathroom. Cleaned that too.

It made me sad because I think it’s a sign of me getting old.

Cat and Nichole both had heavy periods this past year. I researched online and read that it could be that the egg wasn’t released this month….which relates to aging.

Thankfully it didn’t last long. Just the first day or two.

I was also more depressed than ever, the week before the period.

I gotta do more regular exercise and eat more flax seed.

In the coming months and years I’m gonna learn about budgeting time and building habits.

–

Cyndi is back! Probably for good! Yay!

I went to her place tonight. Marleen, Tin, and Ty were there.

She gave me a glow in the dark dinosaur onesie to put on.

We were gonna go out to a club, but we were old. So instead we hung out and watched Cyndi clean her closet…

I want to have a girlfriend that I can talk to!

Oh well.

She is good in her own ways. And I’m meeting more friends.

Her and Ty are dressing up as Space cowboys. That’s interesting because I think she was influenced by me suggesting that we dress up as Firefly crew for Floaterboating, years ago!

Tin was wearing a Giraffe onesie and a name tag “Jerome” hahaha

Marleen was boring. She wants to dress up as Brexit. I suggested Cyndi’s dress and she didn’t even thank me. I don’t really like her.

 

Brad messaged me today saying that he’s been craving me all day.

That’s cute. I didn’t expect that.

I’ve been missing him. Maybe the period is making me moody.

I would’ve loved to see him on Friday but my period started. So I think it was yesterday at 2am that I was toiling in bed, and suddenly decided to message him that I miss kissing him.

Yesterday morning he messaged back to say that he missed kissing me too.

I know I hate always initiating texts and invites, but it seems that he is slowly coming around. Like how he texted me today.

We texted back and forth for a bit. He wants a sexy pic. I asked what I’d get in return. He said, anything you desire. That’s kinda cute. Except I don’t know what to ask for. I wanted him to be here.

Later on, I asked for a topless pic of him, and he said I’d have to wait 20 min because he was eating family dinner. That was 8:30 pm. Then I never heard back from him again.

This was in Whatsapp and I can see that he didn’t even read the messages I sent after that time. Strange….

I got home and posted a picture of me in the onesie. I saw that Matthew came online. I wonder if he is still following me.

Every time I see him online, I get an urge to message him, and the feeling that he wants to message me too. But nothing ever happens.

I keep reminding myself that he is not the one. He doesn’t know how to be loyal, how to be selfless.

But I miss him so much.

But right now, there’s Brad. I want to see him on Friday. I know he is different than Matthew. I can’t mold him into Matthew. I need to learn his way of expressing affection.

OH how I want to be loved and cared for, by someone I love.

I have Mom and Dad, which I’m grateful for. But it’s been too long since I had that feeling of being in love. How I want it.

Dear God, may I have this love?

I don’t think I’ve truly experienced it. With Norm, I had nerve pains at the time. With Nicolas, I really wasn’t that into him.

I really want to find someone who really loves me, and whom I really love. We love each other so much so that there’s no doubt about it. We shower each other with love. We spoil each other. We care for each other. We inspire each other.

I want that.

It’s probably not with Brad. But, right now there’s only Brad on the horizon. Well, not really. He doesn’t ever make the first move ever since I did. It pains me so. Surprisingly.

I want to text him about meeting up this weekend. I want to touch him. But I decided against it.

If he isn’t ever going to be proactive about this, then it’s not worth pursuing.

But I feel strange, that I brought this on myself. If I asked if he was free this weekend, surely I’d get to meet him. But instead, I sit here and sulk my heart out. I sit here and refuse to take the initiative.

But it makes sense I suppose. I want him to take action, either as a fuck buddy or as a potential boyfriend.

If he doesn’t, it’s better to let him go now.

I have to toughen through this.

It doesn’t help that biz is stressing me out (Ken is gone at a tradeshow and didn’t bother to let me know ahead of time.) and that my car Max is having issues.

Hang in there. You will get through this. You’ll find someone who loves you and whom you love, wholeheartedly.

 

Car didn’t start this morning. Wilson just helped me put a new battery in…will have to take the car into his work.

Met Mom at the airport today, before she flies out to Taiwan. She wants to sort out some land stuff, go to Shang-Rui’s wedding, and have a siblings reunion.

I didn’t have my costumes ready, and it’s too late to buy wigs online, so I asked Anna for help. She has lots of costumes she made for their photoshoot! The scalemail pieces were especially gorgeous. I’m gonna go as Wonder Woman. It’s a bit of a hacked-together costume…but kinda works. It would be hard to use the bathroom though!

Wilson and Anna are so great to me. After trying on tons of costumes, I couldn’t start up my car. They invited me to stay for dinner, and then Wilson drove me home.

The next day, Wilson picked up a lexus battery at work, installed it into my car, test drove it, and then dropped it off.

I am so touched by them.

Will texted me today if I’m going to Noveween and I was going as. I said Wonder Woman. He said he has a Superman outfit. Said it would be a nice surprise if we didn’t tell each other already. I said he can still surprise me by showing up in a Wonder Woman outfit. Haha.

I kinda feel nothing for Will now. But whatever. We’ll be semi-friends.

Started chatting with a pilot named Colin. He seems very cool. But his looks…not my type. Sigh. We’ll see.

The chef, Andrew, disappeared. Not sure what’s going on there.

Brad…I miss him. I’m horny. I miss just touching him. It’s not even like he did anything especially great so far. No cute bantering like Matthew and I had. Never took the initiative to message me first. We’ve had sex twice, and both times, I asked.

I’ve decided to not ask anymore. It makes me sad that this might means the end. It makes me sad that, he might like me but just doesn’t know how to take the initiative. But, if it’s not a match, then I’d rather move on.

I feel so sad I want to cry. It might be the pre-MC mind.  I want to touch him again, kiss him again, fuck him again.

No one compares to Matthew though. He was so fun. And that I’ll never have again. Why is everyone so insincere nowadays? Too many options I guess.

My dynamics with Brad is different. I call him instead of him calling me.

On Wednesday, I asked if he is free Friday. He said he has an evening meeting, and will find out what time it is the next day.

Thursday, I didn’t hear from him. Together with Amazon issues that caused my sales to drop dramatically yesterday, I was in an ultra shitty mood.

I swiped on Tinder and found 3 guys. I compromised a bit on the looks. There were no better looking guys anyway.

Turned out 1 was in an open relationship. Too bad because he said he dreamed of opening a bunny petting zoo before I said I love bunnies!

Another one went to ZhengDa University, which is in Taiwan. Interesting.

Another one is a chef and might arrange a taco date with him. He has a beard…but he seems the most wholesome and funny.

Interesting that, if Brad did message me on Thursday, I probably wouldn’t have tried to find more guys. The decisions that change based on someone’s 1 day delay in action. Kind of like exurb1a’s video Terra.

So Brad came by at 9pm. He was going to be early but I wasn’t ready. He looked a bit cuter today, with less product in his hair.

He was waiting by the door, which was cute.

I was wearing a blue and red plaid dress, because I figured he’d like that style. But then I remembered he can’t see the red.

He said I always wear the cutest outfits. We kissed for a while by his car. Kissed in the elevator. Kissed by the kitchen.

We were pretty passionate tonight! We kissed so much. And the sex was pretty good! Much better than last time. Probably because I got better condoms, and the light was dim.

We just had the kitchen light on, and a candle light. It was just right. And he looked better today…in part because I got more used to how his body looks I guess. He has such a cute ass, and long legs, and flat belly. His skin feels really smooth because he is essentially hairless. He has a nice tan, but he also has cute freckles.

We tried out oil sex, and he really liked it! Haha. Everyone does.

After that, we showered together, and kissed a whole bunch in the shower, like I did with Fin. It was passionate too, surprisingly!

He likes to eat me out, and he likes to get blow jobs. He actually came from that. That hasn’t happened in a while! I haven’t given blow jobs in a while.

We didn’t really take breaks to talk the first couple times. After sex, we hopped in bed, we’d start making out passionately again right away. Sometimes kissing under the blanket.

I like that he rubs my head sometimes. I like that he says I’m gorgeous. I like that he said my skin is so soft. That I’m sexy.

We are more passionate than the first time. The magnum condoms do feel better. Had his dick in me for a few minutes to see what it was like, and it felt so much better. He pulled it out fairly quickly though, saying it’s better to be safe.

He has trouble getting hard after the first two times, and was blaming the condoms. Not sure. Said when he was 18, 19, he can go 3 times without going limp. Yup, I’ve seen that! Sam was like that, at 25.

We talked about first relationship. His was when he was 17. The girl cheated on him after 6 months. What!

Later on I asked him about the marketing agency he went to. It turned out to be his biz partner Taz’s exgirlfriend’s agency. Impressive! He shared a lot of info with me. I appreciate that.

We looked at pictures of his dog, Koda. He is super handsome.

Tomorrow his mentally handicapped cousin organized a family bowling event. He showed me all the (same) text his cousin sent him. He was patient with him. It’s nice that the whole family is supportive of this cousin.

Brad is fun and affectionate. He is not super funny though. Or, not funny in the way I really like maybe. I don’t know. He did write well and his profile was funny.

I do look forward to seeing him again 🙂

3 storms are visiting Vancouver, and power went out in Richmond and New West. I couldn’t visit Sherry to pick up the apples, and Brad messaged me about power outage in his area too.

He couldn’t go climbing, so I suggested that he come over at 9pm. We were going to meet on Saturday, since he messaged me and since I can’t meet up with Sherry nor go to Point Roberts, I decided that we can meet today.

I checked his Kickstarter out earlier today and it was great! So professionally done. He looked…ok. I watched his road trip video again..he looked…ok.

He is cute, but not super cute. He looked fine at the cafe though. I like his vibe. And the kiss was nice. And him walking into a pole was super cute.

So he came. Driving a white Subaru. Turned out it only took him 15 min to get here.

There are so many parallels between him and Matthew. Both drive white cars, both live 15 min away, both rock climb 3, 4 times a week, both entrepreneurs, both 6’1, both have blue eyes, both Gemini’s.

But, I miss Matthew. Moments before meeting up with Brad, I suddenly missed Matthew a lot.

Brad has a skinny build, much like Matthew. He seems taller though. I wore the same clothes that I wore once when meeting Matthew. White top and black short skirt.

I saw his curly hair for the first time. It’s so super curly! Not very hot though.

We had sex 4 times. We used a condom because he wasn’t always good at controlling his cum.

His body was hairless which was nice. It was lean, and well proportioned. His waist was super narrow. His ass was very cute. More sculpted than Matthew’s actually. And he has a soft tan!

But his face wasn’t really doing it for me.

Sex was sorta awkward, sorta fun. We kissed a lot. But I didn’t feel the same passion I felt with Fin.

His dick was quite nice! A good size. And he was hairless down there. He said he had lots of time to “manscape” hahaha

His balls are quite perfect too, like Matthew’s! Not pink though. A bit tanned.

He likes my body a lot. At one point he looked in the mirror and was just amazed at how my body looked..said it looked better than what you get in porn.

He likes my ass, said I had perfect nipples, and smooth skin, and that I tasted good (he like eating me out), and that I didn’t look or act like a 36 yo, more like a 19 yo. Wow that’s a compliment.

But we are not too compatible in bed. I don’t like getting eaten out. And somehow I just wasn’t super into it.

Maybe the condom doesn’t do it for me. Maybe it was his face. I really don’t know.

By the 4th time, I was dry and needed to lube up with baby oil.

We didn’t have a very fun conversation until the end. We talked about business. He has some funny stories about being in Amsterdam and showing off his waterproof jeans, poured some beer on it and it soaked right through.

I like it when he talks about his business. Also when I lied beside him and looked at him from the side, his profile was quite nice.

I don’t know if I want to see him again… I probably will…but I’m not too looking forward to it.

I miss Matthew a lot. No one makes me feel that way. Excited, nervous, turned on. Will I ever find that person?

My dynamics with Brad is so different than with Will.

Brad texted right after seeing me, that it was nice meeting me, and “Let me know when you want to see me next.”

So for the first time, I asked the guy if he is free this Saturday.

He said, “I’m all yours.” Mmmm. Hot.

I said 8 or 9pm. He said Sure, what do you have in mind. I was surprised that he asked that. I said, “Sex!” haha

I said his profile says he is not looking for anything serious, and that, I am looking for something serious but I will play in the mean time.

He said he was turned on by how direct I was (about sex) and he was surprised that he wrote that on OKC. He said he is open to anything. If it develops into more, he’d like that too. That’s cute.

Right now the concern I guess is, is he really cute? Is he good in bed?

If he is, then he seems to have the type of personality I like too. Dreamer, go-getter.

If he doesn’t cheat, then I just might date this guy!

Every time I think about our kiss in front of the cafe, something down there tightens up out of horniness lol. And when I think about how he walked into a pole, it makes me laugh. Too cute.