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I just realized that my period is starting in 2 days, so that could the be source of grumpiness. Considering how sad I was prior to some other periods, this isn’t so bad!

The GREAT:

1. Stock went up huge recently. My net worth is about $6.8M today
2. Mom’s money under John’s management also went up to $1.47M
3. Sales have been amazing. The past 30 days Knot Theory did $87K + $109K + $21K on Shopify, Amazon US, and Etsy. Plus another $10K or so on Amazon CA + UK. That’s $227K in 30 days! That’s $2.7M a year if we do this every month! In the last 30 days, Shopify is 1.9x last year, Amazon is 1.55x last year.
4. Knot Theory is growing! We did $1.3M in revenue in 2022. In 2023 we’ll do about $2.2M. 1.6x growth.
5. I got a surfskate, and I got a great spot by BC Place to practice. Have only tried it 3 times so far. I feel that it’s harder on my left side. It’s not a balanced sport…will need to learn to push on both sides. I’m getting better already though!
6. Got a new laptop after nearly 11 years!
7. The venous lake on my lip has been gone for at least 2 months now! Don’t know if it’s the cold plunge, but will keep doing cold plunge in case it helps with inflammation overall!
8. More hair growth – been more conscious about scalp massage, minimizing gluten and sugar, using biotin shampoo, and applying hair growth serum or rosemary oil. Also take supplements sometimes.
9. So far have been to every Cold Plunge (10th week today)! Total challenge is 11 weeks!
10. Been nice having free-ish new team members the past 3, 4 months!
11. I can spoil myself and Mom with gifts. Laptop, surfskate, cold plunge tub…these are just a fraction of the stuff I recently bought. My solarium is filled with boxes.
12. I get to live in a place I love. Love my apartment. Love my furniture. Love my robes. Love eating stuff I enjoy eating without worrying about how much they cost. What a life!
13. Being mindful that right now is an amazing time. Both Mom and Dad are healthy and well. My relationship with them, with John, Cyndi, Nicole, and spikeball friends are good. I feel that I need to fend off aging more than ever, but I also know that I’m healthy and young-looking. I have health, wealth, and love. I’m so grateful.

The Not So Great:

1. Wishing I had someone to love, make out with, and make love with, but the chance of finding someone compatible to me seems slim.
2. Low mood sometimes…maybe an aging thing? Feel more low before period than I used to. Also a mindset thing. I can improve on my mindset. Focus on the gain not the gap. Count my blessings not my problems.
3. Stressed out sometimes. As biz grows, stress also grows. Muscle for handling stress needs to grow. And the ability to pre-emptively prevent stress needs to grow.
4. Low motivation sometimes. Maybe from stress, or lack of muscles to deal with stress. Or just being spoiled haha. Having a bigger team now means I don’t have to do stuff I don’t enjoy as often…and when I do have to do something I don’t enjoy, I seem to have less capacity for it now. I dread taxes, meetings, etc
5. Aging. Aging means higher maintenance. I need to spend more time on skin care, fitness, face yoga, face exercise, red light therapy, etc. I’m scared that this is just the beginning of aging and I’m already struggling. I want to make out with young, hot guys! But it seems to be a more and more distant opportunity now. I’m learning to come to terms with being sexless and partnerless. I want a BFF Boyfriend (BBFF? haha) to travel the world and make out and have sex with. But I don’t know many people who do all three with their boyfriends.
6.  Landlord very grumpy and wanting to raise rent.
7. Feeling like I should work on something that is more scalable

 

I’ve been swallowed whole by my sadness.

Noveween 2023 – people had fun but, noise complaint and had to turn music off and keep quiet all night.

I would say, 25% of why I hosted this party was to see Sid. It backfired. He didn’t come and didn’t tell me. Not only did I not get to see him, I will now swear off of him.

I didn’t think it was a test, but he failed completely.

It left me feeling really sad. Utterly sad.

I’m destroyed pretty much. I have not liked anyone in such a long time. Shuto was a bust. Brian was a bust. And now Sid…one with most potential…. is a bust. Not to mention getting ghosted about 90% of the time on Bumble after a couple of messages. Each person has been as awful as can be.

Suraj is sweet. But I don’t have butterflies for him. Sigh.

For the past week, I’ve been drowning in my sorrows. My sleep is fucked (update: just realized it’s mainly because I’ve been drinking cocao and it’s full of magnesium, even more than sunflower seeds!) My eating habit is fucked (just eating a bunch of leftover chips from the party). I have had no motivation to work. And I just want to burst out crying and fully give up on finding someone.

People who have found someone…their lives don’t seem that great either anyway.

Cyndi has been my BFF and I’d leave her voice messages lamenting about my sorrows. I’ve come to realize that she is useless though. She is a kind and genuine person with a great sense of humour….but she is really lacking in the ability/insight to encourage and support me. She is the punching bag in relationships (including friendship). She is not a role model at all.

I wish I had a wiser BFF.

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Today I dreamt about 2 birds coming near my bedroom. I reached out my hands to signal them to come in, and they did. Awwww.

They were beautiful. Green, orange, and yellow. I googled the name of the bird after, and turned out they were love birds!

They landed on my fingers. A bug flew by and I tried to get them to eat it. One kind of missed it so I had to catch the bug to feed to it, and it worked.

It felt quite vivid. I woke up and felt pretty thrilled about this dream.

I googled what it meant. Well, positive things. Hopefully it means I’m gonna find love soon <3

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I had to really pull a brain twister to “balance myself out” when thinking about how Sid has been behaving.

He didn’t say anything and didn’t show. On Monday, 2 days after the party, I called out each of the 5 people who didn’t show, and said in the Noveween group that they should’ve tried to show and if not, at least let the host know.

Sid immediately dm’d me an apology. Still, his excuse was “unplanned emergency”. How unplanned was it that he can’t say something 2 days after?

On Wednesday, I went to a cold plunge. A week prior, Sid said, “For sure I’m coming to cold plunge next week”. Well, he didn’t show and didn’t say a word.

I was shattered. How little can someone care? Well, he showed it.

I slept so much the past 2 days. I was drained from ruminating about this and feeling hurt.

Finally, today I feel a bit more normal. I’m more able to see that his bad behaviour is not necessary a reflection of how he feels about me. And certainly not a reflection of me.

It’s natural to think that, “If you care then you would have done this and wouldn’t have done that”. Well, the truth is, people do all sorts of things that don’t make sense.

For example, that girl who encouraged her crush to ask another girl out and offered her place for the two of them to stay. She had to listen to them have sex while she cry herself to sleep at night. Made no sense.

Alex obviously felt something strong towards me, and his behaviour was to ghost me. Made no sense.

I try to imagine that Sid has a mental illness such as bi-polarism. Or that he his real reason for not able to come was embarrassing so he can’t really tell me (mental illness, physical illness, something traumatic or situational). Who knows.

The point is, don’t take it personally. He did his best, which was apologizing after I called him out.

Also, I need to remember, there is absolutely attraction between us. THAT is undeniable. We both felt it, I know. There might be other things clouding the attraction, but deep down I know we had something.

I didn’t want to test him and have him fail miserably….but at least now I know for sure that he is not the one for me.

I definitely want a mentally healthy, reliable, funny, happy, and caring person in my life.

Honestly Suraj is the best so far. But he is fat. And he is not playful in a way that gives me butterfly, or funny in a way that makes me laugh super hard.

I’ll keep looking or die trying lol.

 

 

Bunny hasn’t been very talkative to me lately, so I stopped calling him.

I think I know why he wasn’t very talkative. When the stocks don’t do well, he shies from talking to me.

Nothing personal.

Now that stocks are doing better again, he was calling me yesterday and today, and being sweet.

I’m learning what he is like, and I’m learning to be likeable to him. Even though he doesn’t want to have sex with me. Most likely that’s not personal either. But that’s fine by me. He was never great in bed anyway.

I told him that I’m considering a facelift.

Like I predicted, he is opposed to it and says I don’t need it.

I want to do more research, and more face yoga.

The thing is, I also want to have fox eyes and a shorter filtrum. Not just to have a face lift.

I figure that, if I’m gonna do something to look better, why not do it now so I look better sooner? There is a risk though. Mainly scarring I think. I don’t know if my body is good at healing from scars. Asians can have that issue.

There are more and more advanced and better methods to anti-age too. So if I wait a bit longer, these technologies will have arrived or matured. I can imagine that there’s gonna be a way to tighten and lift the deep tissue without surgery.

Good news: Been at least a week now that I noticed my lip venous lake is in remission! That’s amazing! I wonder if it’s the cold plunge that’s been helping with this.

Dating: Well, dating after 40 has definitely not been fun. It’s hard to even find a guy that is fit.

On Monday, I went on a date with a tech co-founder. He is half black, 1/4 Irish, 1/4 native American. He was ok cute, but a lil fat. He was 37. I bet he was quite cute in his 20s. He was boring.

Earlier that day,  I played spikeball with Sid, Suraj, John, Nick, and Andrew.

Was surprised that Sid was coming. So far him and Suraj are the only ones who have not missed a single game that I put on. And that’s about 6 games now in the past 7 or 8 weeks. But he was always so last minute to confirm. And he never messaged me back when I messaged him on whatsapp. I felt very hurt and confused.

Early on, I didn’t feel much towards him. First time seeing him, I did notice that he played in a unique way and it was kinda hot. He didn’t seem interested in me at all, but he came by to hug me before leaving, so maybe there was a little something there.

The second time I noticed him was maybe a month later, when he said yes to my spikeball invite to the group. I had forgotten who he was. But when he played, I remembered. I thought he was ok cute but not especially cute.

Maybe it was the third time…I was a little interested. I can’t remember if it was this time or the previous time, he made that software joke and cracked me up. I think he loved that. At the end of the games, he wanted to ride back downtown together, and I was like, whatever. But then it clicked that maybe he liked me, and suddenly I was more interested.

4th time, he came over to Douglas park. He hugged me in such a way that I was so sure that he was interested. Like he put his body and heart into it, and it lasted longer than needed. We played a game together and we won. We were great as a team. There was another time where he won against me and he seemed to remember that one more, strangely. At one point I pointed out that a guy doing crossfit workout beside us had his shoe laces untied. Sid ran over immediately to let the guy know. That was cute on so many levels. He was responsive to me. He sorta flirted but was almost more talking to Amy…pretty sure he was just diverting his attention to her in order to mask his interests in me. We’d stand close to each other like there was a gravity pull. He’d tease me and I’d try to get him. Amy insisted that we take a group photo, and I lay on top of him like we’ve known each other for a long time. It was a really good day. It was also around this time that I noticed he had really light coloured eyes. Quite cute.

Oh and there’s another time a few days later, a Wednesday regular meetup. I was hoping he’d come but he didn’t. Suddenly he showed up (briefly). He came by to say hi and said he’ll be back. I gave me a tight hug as soon as he showed and he hugged me right back. I waited for him but he never came back. That was the day Cyndi came to visit.

6th time seeing him was on the way to Brian’s Intuitives dinner at Joey’s. That was the peak of my feelings for him. He was on my mind as I was walking…then suddenly I saw him… so it felt like manifestation! We hugged a big hug. He picked me up, I giggled loudly and put my legs around him. He flirted with me a bit. But then he apologized for not coming back that day because he was on a date. He was trying to get out of that date because she looked nothing like her photos he said. I heart sank that he was going on dates when I was crazy about him. Even sadder after, because I told him I had messaged him, and he never responded. He clearly didn’t want to have a conversation with me.

7th time seeing him was another spikeball meetup I arranged. It had been a couple of weeks and I wanted to see him, but was not sure how I felt about him because he never messaged me back. I dressed up so nice, in my pink banana power outfit. He came late and I pretended to not have seen him, Instead I laughed extra hard playing with others. He came over to hug me and I gave him a normal quick hug. When we were finally about to play on the same team, he took off to play with another team. That made me mad. I ignored him the rest of the time. Well, we ignored each other. But towards the end of the games, he came from behind me and blindfolded me during my game. Childish yes, but after realizing it was him, I laughed and fell into his arms. He was the perfect height for me. What was it? 5’9″? I asked him to be my arms while I played. It was a bit too awkward to have him spoon me in front of all the guys….we did it for a few seconds then gave up. But…for sure there was something there. He was the perfect spoon size lol.

8th time I saw him was Monday. Still upset that he never messaged me back. Was glad that I had this date in the evening to distract me. I was not as into him as I would’ve been. As a result, I was more calm, and some of what happened was a bit less memorable to me. When he came, there were 3 of us. As we started to play, Suraj came. I almost wished he didn’t because I just wanted Sid. 4 people meant we didn’t have to rotate off. But it was fine. Suraj was a gentleman. And took time out of his busy day to come out. Sid didn’t even have to work that day and played tennis before.

When Sid came, I was not especially enthusiastic. No hug. We played a game where we were enemies. I hardly ever played with him, and when we did, we always played on opposing teams. So the second time this happened, I said, “I wanna play with Sid, we never play together”. “What? We always play together,” he said. I said not on the same team. He said he didn’t wanna play with me because I high-five too hard. Faire enough. Everyone said that lol. I said fine I’ll only do soft high fives.

Before we started, Nick and Suraj did a chest bump. Sid said we should do it too. I said no, I have tits. He said, ok ass. There was a video that John took of Nick and Suraj chest bumping, followed by me and Sid ass bumping. Pretty funny.

Sid and I won the game. Pretty exciting! I kinda initiate a hug. He took it further and lifted me up and spun me around. I can’t remember if I laughed.

Then he said we needed to do another ass bump. I reluctantly agreed…he was gonna have a run start at me and I wasn’t sure about that.

Nick posted a video of Sid and I going for a low ball. He got there first. I dove and was on the ground. He held his hand out for me while waiting for me to laugh and recover from it….it was kinda sweet. If it wasn’t on film I wouldn’t have remembered it.

Another cute moment was him showing me his thigh to distract me. Or the side of his waste. Or doing a pushup. He was playful for sure. I was confused…”What are you trying to do?” he tried to explain the push up. I said, “Show me some abs!” He pretended that he was gonna but then he didn’t.

A weird moment was when I was filming them, he blurted out, “And this is what I do every time I have sex.” It was the weirdest comment! I was like, wtf did he just say?! No one really got it. But then John said, “What was that mythical word you spoke of?” and that sent me. AHHAHAHA what a bunch of nerds.

Sid had to leave early. No hugs.

The next day at 10:30pm, he finally messaged me for the first time, only to ask if he can share my phone number or IG with his friend cuz she is interested in coming to the cold plunge. I said Yup! and that was it.

The next day, Wednesday, I posted a poll about Noveween in the spikeball group. It’s been 2 days now and the only person who hasn’t responded is Sid. WTFFFF???

He has a certain demeanor that is familiar to me, and I’m trying to figure out who he reminds me of. Sam? Matthew?

Maybe more Matthew. His posture, the way he talks.

When I’m not into him, he is so average. When I’m into him, he is cute, full of rizz, beautiful light brown eyes, cutest way that he moves his body, and so funny.

I want to be in love with him (or anyone playful). But he’s been toxic already and that’s not a good sign. I guess it’s might as well that he is not coming :'(

He is not a man. He is a boy. He doesn’t drive. He doesn’t msg. He doesn’t vote or let me know that he can’t come. Another microdick? I guess I’ll just believe so. It’ll make me feel better.

Remember. Take nothing personally.

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I was chatting with his guy who had potential. Very curious about me, very responsive, and a 44 yo successful land developer living in North Van. After talking to him for a while, I learned that he has “a couple of kids”. Damn.

What are some paths to 10x?

1. Tiktok going viral
2. Wholesale
3. Adding metal rings and ring boxes (engraving too)
4. 10x ad spend
5. Spend more money on collabs
6. Become the supplier to other silicone ring brands
7. Collab with influencers – design for them. They can sell on their site (dropship)
8. Invade the low end rings on Amazon (compete with Thunderfit)
9. Be early to the next platform, whatever it is
10. Be early to the next trend, whatever it is

What are some paths to 10x production?

1. 30x production with bulk engraving
2. Out-sourcing engraving and gold inlay of silicone rings to China
3. Or set up engraving shop in China
4. Out-sourcing engraving of metal rings to China
5. Send rings from China

Thoughts:

1. There are tasks which don’t produce 10x results but they need to be done. For example: design new collections, write blogs, send emails, post on social
2. I think the key is to delegate those tasks, as opposed to not doing them at all
3. The Team needs to do maintenance tasks, and also need to work on 10x projects

 

 

Deep down still sad about Sid. We haven’t even started and already my mood is negatively impacted… Sigh.

I know that by not connecting with me, he is not the one. At least not now.

I know that the chance of a 20 something yo being mature enough for me is next to 0.

I know that there are other funny handsome people in the world.

I know that the best is yet to come.

I’ll work on my funny. I’ll become prettier too.

I checked out face lift. Holy shit. There are some amazing before and after!!

I want it. Not just to anti age, but also to look better. To have fox eyes, shortened philtrum, no nasolabial fold, and just look 15 years younger. It’s possible!

Now I understand how celebs look amazing!

I also feel hopeful about being youthful! There are good surgery options, and there will be many more better options to come!

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Mom had a dream about three squashes not getting harvested… She woke up and went to the backyard… And found three big squashes that both of us missed!

Made a squash video with music she picked. Also made a bday video for her. New obsession.

I think Mom and I both have the tendency to obsess over something for a while. For example, eating blueberries like they are the staples of her diet, filling a whole fridge with them. Eating a ton of scallops with roe, another obsession.

Me, spikeball, Mister ice cream, view of the bc place.

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Speedy has been down. Very upsetting.

It’s been 6 weeks of challenges. Bryce quit. Interviewee got Nicole sick. Then Alyssa sick. Then Bena sick. Then computer got virus. And now, Speedy has issues.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to be as completely honest as possible.

Let’s get to the bottom of this so I have no conflicting vision!

I want romantic love. I want to make passionate love. That’s what I always want. That’s the ultimate goal in life for me…to find someone to love and be loved, and to make passionate love with him often. To laugh together always. To travel the world and experience new things together. That’s my paradise.

I have only experienced relationships that are not fun. I get mad often and they are people I don’t respect. I guess everyone has areas that are not “respectable”. Not everyone is respectable in every way. Everyone is respectable in some ways.

Honestly, I see some relationships, and I look at my own previous relationships, I see a lot of pain and compromise. I don’t know if it’s worth it.

Yes I want the love and laugh and sex…but are they worth the pain and compromise and suffering? In my heart I know there’s gonna be fights, there’s gonna be some bad parts. Without a partner, I might be lonely sometimes, but life is so much simpler.

Mom would rather be single. Dad would rather be single.

I see how people age…their beauty, health, and vitality going downhill…what are the chances of two people aging on the same page and gracefully?

It’s like the same way I think about having kids… I’m now applying that to having a partner.

Except, I do want love.

I think I have an exceptionally amazing life. It’s hard for a guy to compete with my single life lol.

And the one guy I like…Sid… For whatever reason he is not in a rush to get to know me. That makes me feel sad and insecure…I shouldn’t take it personally… But I do. I can’t help but wonder, what if I were younger? What was it that I lack that made me not good enough for him to make an effort?

Sigh. I need to work on that.

There are days I’m more confident and positive than right now tho.

Today I just feel more down maybe cuz of my cycle.

But let’s get raw.

So few people meet my standards, when one person does, it’s a once in a lifetime occurrence. So I get really impacted.

How can I live happily ever after?

What’s within my control?

We all get older. I want to age beautifully. There are many role models. There are also plastic surgery options. There are people who age beautifully. So it’s it’s all good. Just there are fewer of them. So choose them or choose younger boys lol. Remember, if you had married someone in your twenties, chances are they are now old looking with a plethora of illnesses and unattractive qualities. It’s ok to place your bet later on in life lol.

If you had met the one early on, you would not have had the fun sex experiences! And you would’ve had doubts and questions. For someone as curious as you, it’s better that you got to experience these fun flavors! God has a plan for me, and it’s a good one. I’ll trust in God.

Sometimes it cannot be explained why I do or don’t do something. Same goes for other people. We are complex machines with many subconscious thoughts that are affected by memories, genetics, hormones, the weather, timing, phase in life, people around us, smells and sounds and sights and touches and tastes that we experience. There are other forces at play too, such as the dimension above, the higher self, destiny, past lives, karma, and factors I can’t name.

So no, don’t take anything personally.

Super wise words.

I know I have lived a charmed life. Luckier than most people in the entire world, lots of amazing experiences, lots of love and laughs, lots of amazing sexual moments. I know that no one has it all, and I know that even those who are happily married can be / have been envious of my life.

So I think I’ll try my best to be connected to as many quality people I can. And then, we’ll see if I meet anyone worth being partnered up with.

No need to overthink if I do want a relationship. Get out there and be exposed to all kinds of wonderful human beings, be clear about the fact that you want a funny, playful, compassionate guy who has his sh*t together!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn’t get enough sleep cuz I ate too late and went to bed too late. And it was pouring! But I arrived at 7:30am this morning at Kits Beach, along with around 150 others,  and we cold plunged!

It was amazing. We submerged for 2 minutes instead of 3 today. Maybe because it was too cold/wet.

While we did breathwork after, someone beside me playfully asked me, “Is this a cult?” I said, “YES.” I wanted to say something clever, like, “They hand out uniforms next week.”

Raymond and Sacha came too.

I felt pretty productive the rest of the day. But quite cold.

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Met with Mark for lunch at Hokaku Tendon. It was quite yummy. Hadn’t seen Mark in a while. It felt too short!

On the way home, treated myself to some peanut butter bubble waffle. So lucky!

Yesterday I didn’t want to eat too much gluten, went to Wholefoods and treated myself to a gf pumpkin pie, ginger cookies, organic vanilla ice cream, and got some unpasteurized honey too! Oh and gf cinnamon bread. Felt very lucky yesterday too, to drop $65 on these snacks without blinking.

I’ve been watching Bling Empire. These “Slaysians” have so much. They’d get a private jet and fly somewhere to shop for clothes. They’d buy diamonds for each other.

Seeing their lifestyle really puts things into perspective. I don’t envy them one bit. They are all so materialistic and they have such a small circle of friends and they are so immature.

One interesting thing though is that, when you are rich, age doesn’t matter. They all hang out together, from 19 to 60. Partly because they have such a small circle of friends to begin with, partly because money defies age.

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43. Everyday I wish I was younger.

I didn’t fully expect to hear from Sid, but I was certainly hoping, because I told him I had messaged him and asked him to check.

By now I know he is not gonna message me. I try to not fall into the gap mindset.

If I was to be positive about this, what would I be thinking?

1. I know for sure we were both giddy for each other when we saw each other in the street.
2. I’m 1000% confident that we have chemistry and attraction for each other.
3. Because of this certainly, I feel quite calm about us. I feel that if we are meant to be, he will eventually realize how special I am and how special we are, and pursue me.
4. Until he realizes this, I ain’t gonna go around chasing him. I don’t chase. I attract. Hahaha
5. I’m also probably fine being friends first, and observe who he is. Because, some things don’t add up. For someone so funny, outgoing, cute, and charismatic – why is he not chin deep in girls that he can date? Why is he resorting to apps? Maybe he is urgently seeking a rebound. Maybe he has a fatal flaw. For example, Alex seems amazing – successful, fun, cute. But he is also an alcoholic, an avoidant, and a vengeful person.
6. I’m grateful that he has shown me the kind of belly laugh I need and want from a partner. It doesn’t have to be him, but this dynamic has to be between me and my next boyfriend. He’s raised the bar, or rather, brought some clarity to me.
7. I’m grateful that he’s elevated my mood
8. I’m grateful that he’s helped me get over Brian, who is actually quite toxic to me. Especially right before dinner! I was in such a good mood that I’m sure Brian was secretly more drawn to me. With some resentment probably cuz that’s how toxic he is lol.
9. I’m grateful that someone so rare has come into my life. Sam and Mike were this funny. But Sam has a microdick and is mentally a mess. Mike is very cold and introverted. At the moment Sid seems almost perfect. But, let’s not be too delulu. There’s probably something wrong with him lol
10. I have no idea why he hasn’t messaged me yet. There are many guesses as to why he hasn’t, but I don’t know the real answer, so I’m not going to make (negative) assumptions. People can take the same action for many different reasons. All I know is that when the time is right, I’ll meet my person. My soulmate.
11. I’m grateful for the motivation to work on my mood, energy, charm, and physique. I want to elevate! I think the gain mindset will make me a much more attractive person, and a healthier person to be around and be in a relationship with. And I

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So Suraj asked if I wanted to go grab a bite. I said sure! He picked me up, paid for the meal, dressed up nice, and asked me why I’m not dating anyone…complimented me, kissed me on the cheek at the end of the evening. Ah, so it was a date.

Suraj is a great guy, and we get along so well together. We laugh too (but not the same belly laugh I have with Sid).

I learned that he is basically a software developer, team lead, and does client calls too. Impressive! He also has some AI ideas for a startup. I figure he is in his early to mid 30s. He lives in Yaletown and drives a Mercedes. His family is all doctors and engineers. These are all very attractive qualities!

And he is very tall and very good looking really (Taller than Sid and just as good looking). Just a bit chubby. And the way he moves in Spikeball is not sexy like Sid.

The main main thing though, is sense of humour. He is fun, but our humour doesn’t quite line up.  If he was as funny as Sid..hmm….I might still complain about the chubbiness. But physique is more solvable.

Sid doesn’t have a car. Is probably in his late 20s. Lives in the West End so it’s further. And it’s small (can only fit 10 ppl). Prioritizes on the girl’s looks it seems. Works in finance instead of tech. No biceps.

In many ways, Suraj is a better match and a better catch!

But, Sid is the one.

I wish I was 10, 20 years younger. I wish I had hair. But, I gotta own my narrative. I gotta embrace my age, my alopecia – they make me the wise and compassionate person I am today.

I have more clarity now. Sid’s personality and sense of humour are what I want. This trumps being an entrepreneur. I just don’t know if he is also thoughtful, deep, kind, and compassionate. But right now, aside from not messaging me, his personality is perfect.

Cyndi came to visit!

Day 1: Dinner at Sushi Mugen with Tina and Cyn

Day 2: Kits Beach with Cyn, Tina, Amy, Jess, Steve Willows, Wes, Corinna. Had CM chicken with Steve.

Day 3: Walked in Kits for 5 minutes with Cyn, Amy, and Steve

Steve was into me. I’m not into him at all. This guy is full of trauma and red flags. Also, he is ugly IMO. I used to find him funny, and now I find him less so.

Amy was acting like we had no beef. I haven’t forgiven her for saying that I have less rights because I wasn’t vaxed.

Tina was nice. She wants a part time job with me. I don’t think I have the capacity for that.

Wes didn’t age badly for 46 yo. His teeth seemed worse than I remembered.

Glad Cyndi came. It’s been a year since we last saw each other! She is so tiny now! Last year she was a bit chubby.

Don’t love hanging out with her friends, but once in a while ok I guess.